The Cheaters Blog |
Take One for the TeamWhat was Steve Phillips thinking? As a highly regarded baseball analyst and a former MLB general manager, he seemed to have it all - money, beautiful home, loving family, good looks and, of course, a career that most sports fans can only dream about. All of that is gone now. He flushed it down the proverbial drain. Well, except for his good looks. I can't lie... that man is one handsome devil. Phillips' life became juicy tabloid fodder when he admitted to the press last week that he had an affair with a young staffer at his former place of employment. I say "former" because they were both fired a few days later. His was a classic tale of a married, older and well-connected Big Shot hooking up with a young and inexperienced low-level Worker Bee. The object of his affection was a 22 year-old production assistant named Brooke Hundley. Phillips, by the way, is 46 years-old (or "old enough to know better" as my grandma would say). On paper, it sounds like the sort of thing you expect to hear guys bragging to each other about (once they knew their wives were safely out of earshot). In reality, not so much. Phillips' number one mistake was cheating on his wife, period. That's a given. What I need help understanding is the person he chose to cheat with - THAT is what I simply can't wrap my brain around. Comments have been made by some people in the media (people with reasonably functioning eyeballs) that Hundley, ah... let me see... how can I put this nicely... she leaves much to be desired in terms of her appearance, especially when compared to her unwitting competitor. I just don't get it! If you were going to cheat and risk your marriage and high profile image, you better make sure it's worth it. It is easy to see why Phillips' wife filed for divorce. That alone is downright insulting. The future former Mrs. Phillips is an attractive woman. Could she be mistaken for a lingerie supermodel? Maybe, maybe not... but she doesn't look like she lives under a bridge and casts spells on naughty village children, either. But in the grand scheme of things, none of that really matters. The philandering Phillips is the true ugly one in this story. The bizarre tale doesn't end there, folks. If only! It takes a dark turn when darling Brooke gives an Oscar-worthy impersonation of Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction." According to separate police reports filed by Phillips, his wife and their 16 year-old son, Hundley became dangerously obsessed. The family's accounts sound like the setup of a chilling Hollywood script. A spurned lover flies off the deep end upon getting dumped, she constantly calls and texts her lost love and his wife and - here is the pièce de résistance - cyber stalks one of their underage teenage sons. You read that right. Hundley is accused of posing as several different people to gain the trust of one of Phillips' sons. The boy says she claimed to be various classmates of his and communicated with him online for several weeks. Hundley reportedly hounded him with inappropriate and personal questions about his parents and their home life. Little did he know at the time, the information gleaned from their conversations was being collected for devious purposes. To make matters worse, this isn't the first time Phillips pulled a bonehead career move. The married father of four fessed up to sleeping with a coworker in 1998. Are we noticing a pattern yet? That woman then sued him for sexual harassment and the case was settled out of court. What's that they say about those who do not learn from history? To top it all off, Phillips has pulled a tried and true Hollywood move. He checked himself into rehab for sex addiction. So while he is sitting around in a circle and sharing his feelings, I hope that he not only asks himself "why," but also "was it worth it?" In the meantime, he can add "Cautionary Tale" to his already impressive résumé. Melissa Martin 10.28.09 Off-KeyHell hath no fury like a woman scorned - especially if she is somebody's baby mama. That's basically common knowledge, right? It ain't called "baby mama drama" for nothing. That's why I was surprised when I heard about the hot mess going on with R & B artists Alicia Keys, Mashonda and hip-hop mogul Swizz Beatz. Let me bring you up to speed in case you haven't heard all the drama. Long story short, Swizz Beatz and Mashonda married in 2004. They had a baby boy together. A few years later, Swizz paired up with Ms. Keys and filed for divorce from Mashonda. Their divorce is not yet final. I can't fault Alicia and Swizz for falling for each other. In the wise words of the poster child for illicit relationships, Woody Allen: "the heart wants what it wants." I'm not going to get all high and mighty and say "shame on them" for how they feel. I bet we are all guilty of having forbidden feelings at some point in our lives. Who hasn't? Whether it was over your best friend's ex-boyfriend, your buddy's sister or that sheet cake in the office fridge leftover from Mary in Accounting's birthday just BEGGING to be eaten... we've all been there. That's not what bugs me. What bugs me is that Alicia "Superwoman" Keys stooped to this level. Hooking up with a married man - a married man who took his sweet time taking care of business with his wife - and not being woman enough to acknowledge his baby's mama, despite Mashonda's claims of making repeated attempts to communicate with her... it's just not the kind of behavior I expect from her. I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. Let down. Keys built her empire on the image of a strong, independent and empowered woman. She is a role model for young ladies everywhere. So much for art imitating life! It goes to show that just because you can do something, it doesn't mean you should. I could rip off all my clothes and streak naked through the lobby of my office while screaming the theme song to "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." (You're welcome for getting that stuck in your head now, by the way.) Would that go down in history as one of the COOLEST security camera videos EVER? Absolutely. Would it be career suicide? You betcha. But enough about my warped moral compass; this isn't about me. Here is my suggestion for Alicia - step back while Mr. Beatz handles his family matters. If she can't do that, she should consider making an effort to face Mashonda, woman-to-woman, and act like a civil adult. It has been proven time and time again that the sacred union of marriage does not always last forever, but the bonds of parenthood do. Deal with it. Melissa Martin 10.8.2009 Happy Birthday, Coach Pitino!Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino turned 57 years old on Friday, September 18. Here's to wishing him a memorable time of celebration with his family and friends! I can't help but wonder how the charismatic coach chose to mark his special day. Perhaps with a raucous shindig or a cozy, romantic dinner with the missus? If you don't follow college basketball but think that Pitino's name sounds familiar, there is a very good reason for that. He recently became an unwilling participant in a highly publicized sex scandal. The soon-to-be ex-wife of Pitino's equipment manager announced that she had sex with Slick Rick back in 2003. In a restaurant. On a table. The kind where people eat food. I digress. Naughty health code violations aside, Pitino is a married father of five. The coach, also the author of such fine motivational books as "Lead to Succeed" and "Success is a Choice," fessed up to the affair. If there is one thing the American public loves more than a scandalous fall from grace, it is a heartfelt hat-in-hand apology. I've heard that crow tastes a lot like chicken, by the way. The plot got thicker when the apparent lady of ill repute reportedly tried to squeeze $10 million out of Pitino in exchange for her silence. She is currently charged with extortion and lying to a federal agent. I guess that didn't work out too well. Despite those pesky details, the coach may have managed to have a nice birthday. After all, he still has his health and his job. He has also managed to hold on to his marriage. That's not too shabby! Public embarrassments that affect your work and home, well, they tend to rub ladies the wrong way. Go figure! For what it's worth, I've heard that crow goes nicely with cold shoulder. Just saying... Melissa Martin 9.21.09 An open letter to Jon Gosselin:Dear Jon, We need to talk. We know you've been going through some tough times in your not-so personal life - a nasty divorce, unflattering media coverage, and there's that whole "plus eight" thing. It's only natural that you crack under pressure and slip up once in a while. You're only human, right? But here's the thing... you've sort of been acting like a tool lately. And no, we're not talking about your new earring or your apparent love of Ed Hardy shirts (but come to think of it, that really doesn't help). It's this jet-setting playboy image that you seem to have going on. It's kind of sad. Oh, and do you remember those cringe-worthy things you said about the mother of your many, MANY children to the national news media? What gives? Look, anyone who has seen five minutes of your home life knows that you've taken your fair share of licks. MORE than your fair share. In fact, as millions of viewers watched you get scolded week after week, it became hard to tell you apart from your kids. All across America, men whose wives forced them to watch your fishbowl of a life collectively slapped their heads every time your Man Card was taken away. Oh, the indignity! However, that is no excuse to act like a giddy school girl with the latest love of your life, Hailey Glassman. You love her. We get it. Do you really need to announce on national TV that you love her more than you ever loved Kate? Probably not. And while we're on the subject, it has been hard to ignore the speculation about you and a few other women. Yeah, yeah - it was strictly platonic. You also maintain that you didn't start dating until after your Babies' Mama filed for divorce. How admirable. You may very well "despise" your ex-wife, as you so candidly admitted in an interview. There are probably a few people who wouldn't blame you. That doesn't make it okay to take public pot shots at her, even if she did it first. Take the highroad! Do it for your children, if not for yourself. Here's a newsflash: they're young now, but they're going to grow up one day real soon. They will learn about this cool gizmo named Google. It's on this little thing called the Internet that immortalizes everything you say and do. Everything. Keep that in mind the next time you want to express your love for your girlfriend to the world, host a Las Vegas pool party or do another interview slamming your ex. Deal? Oh... and we heard that you may be thinking about doing a project with America's favorite divorced dads of Hollywood, Kevin Federline and Michael Lohan. Seriously?! Wait, hold on... did you hear that? That's the sound of men everywhere smacking their foreheads. Best of luck, The World Melissa Martin 9.11.09 Might as well face it, you're addicted to lust.Is cheating addictive? We all know it's bad, yet many of us do it anyway. Repeatedly. Cheating is everywhere... like alcoholism or trans fats. It's not as shocking or as rare as it once was. It seems like with each new issue of Insert-Tabloid-Name-Here comes another tale of celebrity entanglement gone awry. Of course, you don't need me to tell you that infidelity is not solely reserved for the Hollywood elite. If only! Let us not forget the recent outbreak of disgraced politicians. Do the names John Edwards and Mark Sanford ring a bell? Even former Alaska Gov. and self-proclaimed hockey mom Sarah Palin is fighting off rumors about her marriage - from the father of her own grandchild, no less! But back to the original question: is it possible to be addicted to adultery? There are some people who would like you to think so. For them, it's an easy excuse that is hard to disprove. Admittedly, there is something to be said about the nature of addictive personalities. It's not unheard of for people addicted to online gambling to play themselves straight into the poorhouse... rationalizing that they are due for a win while spending money that they don't have. It doesn't make sense that someone would willingly ruin his or her own life like that. It all boils down to that oh-so thin line between a personality disorder and poor self-control. I know that I, for one, can't always tell the difference. Can you? Read on for a look at some well-known scandals that are so outrageous, they could easily be explained by some sort of psychological defect. Melissa Martin 9.8.09 http://tinyurl.com/Politcalsexscandals |